Bingo Fast

If you like your bingo fast, you’ll like Bingo Fast. It’s like bingo but, you know, faster. That’s the basic premise anchoring this rickety looking online casino game. Bingo Fast is a cheap and tacky looking game and that’s exactly how it proves to be once you get into it. Still, if you can see past the basicness of it all and can focus instead on the sums to be wagered and won, Bingo Fast just about serves its purpose. The scene is set with an intro screen that features a peroxide blonde female who’s wearing too much makeup. She’s your hostess...or is she your date for the evening? Whatever case, that budget black necklace she’s wearing is very fetching.

Before the game itself can load, there’s a difficulty setting to choose from which is colour coded. At least, it looks like you can choose, but when you try to move the selector it appears to be stuck. By default it’s set to Soft, the second easiest setting after Easy. Other options which should be available but aren’t, despite being marked as so, are Smooth, Smart and Hard. “Like the soft ride?” reads the accompanying text. “Day long amusement but with one shot more excitement”. What is this dross supposed to mean?

Bingo, But Faster

The crimes against graphic design committed by this game only start to stack up once you click the green Play button to exit the intro screen. It’s here that you’re presented with the worst looking cyan blue text you’ve ever encountered – it’s not even spelled correctly. Imagine being so slovenly in your software development that you brought a game to market that was this full of errors. Bingo Fast looks like it was coded by a 12-year-old for their school project.

When the board itself finally loads you’ll find that there are four cards to play with, but only one is activated by default. Click on the arrows below the board to adjust your bet which can range between 1 and 100 coins. There’s an autoplay option which can get the computer to play on your behalf. When you enable it, the game commences at rapid speed with the balls fairly cannoning down the centre of the board and stacking up at the bottom. The last drawn ball is clearly shown at the top of the board, illuminated in green.

Balls Out

If you’re a superstitious player, you can request that you get to play again using the same numbers as previously. Alternatively, you can request new numbers to be drawn at random. All of the numbers that have been drawn in your most recent game will appear as balls stacked two-high at the bottom of the screen.

Players who’ve found that Bingo Fast is a little too fast can click on the Menu button to access controls for the game speed. Turn the speed down to the slowest setting and you’ll find that the balls appear at exactly the same speed as before. This game is so broken that nothing in it seems to perform as expected.

Your Max Bet

The max bet you can set seems to be 100 coins at a time, but the bet controls are kind of ambiguous in that respect. When you choose to play for fun, certain betting functions are disabled or something like that. It’s hard to be any more specific with a game this maddeningly vague. As for the sort of sums that can be won from this game, they’re displayed in the top left of the screen, and you need only a single line of matching numbers to win.

You’ll earn 300 credits for one line and it rises from there. For instance, if you complete a line of bingo diagonally, you’ll earn 300 but if you complete two vertical lines on the extreme left and right, you’ll be awarded 800 coins. It all rises from there, with two lines in a single game starting at 10,000. The most you could make in a single game, for filling every single square on your card with a number, is 150,000.

Bingo Fast Conclusion

A game that’s barely desktop compatible, let alone mobile compatible, Bingo Fast has very little to like about it. There’s just nothing of interest going on here whatsoever. The graphics are bad, the animations are jerky and bad, the colours are bad and as for the audio, it’s bad. There are technically some things which aren’t bad about this game, like the fact that you could win 150,000 coins from it. But for the most part, it’s bad. There are some great bingo games on the market that you can play for real money but Bingo Fast is certainly not one of them.